In September, whether I like it or not, I’ll submit my PhD thesis. Today, though, I don’t really believe that’s going to happen. I’m re-writing the chapters of my critical study and it’s so. damn. hard. It’s all I can think about: I forget to brush my hair, to clean my teeth, I go out in jeans that should really have hit the washing basket days ago and still, the damn PhD isn’t finished. I go out for a walk, I watch TV, I mess about on the interwebz – and still the damn PhD isn’t finished. I neglect my friends, I forget things at work, I say I can’t possibly do the dusting today – and still the damn PhD isn’t finished.
So, every so often I look at the September page on the calendar and remind myself: In September I will be submitting my thesis. Me. No one else.
I wish I could give you an ending to this post that made a point or had a lesson or something. Just…. hello, I’m still here, I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while.
And still the damn PhD isn’t finished.